How To Talk Dirty IRL Or While Sexting: Erotica Writers Weigh In

Choose a Girl

So if you’re ready to add some naughty phrases to your arousal arsenal, ahead, sex experts explain exactly how to talk dirty and offer some scripts to get you started. Dirty talk can also be a great way for people to explore aspects of their sexual fantasies and desires. “Sexy talk can help a person feel more comfortable with their sexual selves and help them explore different sexual activities or topics before acting on them,” says L. Kris Gowen, PhD, a sexuality educator, researcher, and co-host of the podcast B4U Swipe. The brain’s hearing center consists of the temporal lobe, the frontal lobe, and the occipital lobe. The sounds of erotic talk, as all sounds, are processed in this hearing center, and activate other parts of the brain after being processed.

​19. “Stop talking and just do me!”

Dirty talk phrases like this, he notes, are great ways to begin role-playing or exploring the concept of control. “Someone who is high-powered in their day-to-day lives, for example, might get excited when their partner uses dirty talk to assert dominance or vice versa,” he says. Just be sure to be safe, be respectful, and listen carefully. And once you’re warmed up and in the dirty talking mindset, let yourself really start having fun by improvising your own lines. Also, remember to not get in your head about it too much! It’s moments like these and the ways that we resolve issues that build trust and openness in a relationship.

Sexy things to say to your partner.

It can be difficult to vocalize during sex without sounding like a dang moron. In a tweet I will remember forever, a friend of mine described the most regrettable dirty talk he’d ever done, in which he actually told a woman “I’m going to fuck your stupid pussy.” I know! As a favor to sex havers everywhere, I’m going to lay out how to talk dirty in a way that will take sex with your partner to the next level. Dirty talk is a liberating experience for women to break down this mindset and become comfortable in their sexuality and desires. The brain is considered a more powerful sexual organ than even male and female genitalia because it’s where sex drive stems from.

• Fill in the blanks to spin some sexy scripts of your own.
• However, with a little practice, you’ll be on the way to feeling comfortable and confident with dirty talk in no time!
• “The best indicator that your dirty talk is appreciated is when you get dirty talk back,” says Sexpert and Founder of the site Scott Brown.
• Even if your bedroom banter has never been better, we can guarantee you’ll learn something new.

Not only does talking dirty to your husband (or boyfriend) keep your partner thinking about you, but it also makes sex more enjoyable and hotter. More than anything, it is fun to learn and use dirty talk in bed. You can say dirty sentences while making out with your partner in bed, via texts, or via indulging in phone sex (use telephone sex words); the choice is all yours.

As long as you and your partner enjoy trying out and using dirty talk together, there is no wrong way to go about it. In addition to trying out these phrases and techniques, Matatas also suggests giving a few intimate activities a try in order to get your dirty talk juices flowing. “Pick a sexy activity you already both like to do, for example oral sex or using vibrators, and give or take direction with simple words like faster/slower or harder/softer,” she says. So you’ve been around the block and you’re looking for something new that makes your partner that much harder/wetter. Skim through the following, grab a few of your favourite phrases and incorporate them into your dirty talk pronto. And if these are still too tame for you, the next section will kick things up a notch.

Please be aware that this might heavily reduce the functionality and appearance of our site. Especially for those that enjoy consensually degrading verbal play, aftercare is an essential piece of sex to keep the consent, communication, and boundaries in line for all. Tongue-tied in the bedroom and scared to cross a line? We have tips and tricks for turning your partner on without saying the wrong thing.

Of course, you can begin light and safe and, over time, find the right sexy words and use them more. When you are trying to get a guy all worked up, a sexy message can really do the trick. It is important that you get an idea of what to say before sending any messages. If you want to get him ready for you, this is a very effective approach to take. While the last stage is the most powerful in terms of impact, this stage is certainly the most fun.

It satisfies our desire for intimate and vulnerable conversation, as well as a lust for sexual activity in a way that helps partners bond mentally, physically and emotionally. Erotic language provides a multifaceted sexual experience that penetrates beyond physical touch by stimulating our minds. Another excellent source of ideas is returning to a time in the past when you and your partner had a particularly sexy encounter.

These personas or fantasies also may very well be things you would never want to try out in real life. Click here to read How to talk dirty when you don’t know how to talk dirty. When it comes to dirty talk, proceed with caution — not everyone is into it, and those who aren’t can be majorly turned off by it. “The best indicator that your dirty talk is appreciated is when you get dirty talk back,” says Sexpert and Founder of the site Scott Brown. Recently I stumbled upon Quinn, which is an app for audio erotica and I am in love with it.

To start a sexting convo, you can ask something as simple as, “I dreamed about you last night, would you like to hear about it? ” Or, “I just took a sexy photo, would you like to see? ” This is not only a great way to gain consent to sext, but build anticipation as well. When sexting, “keep the conversation light and playful, and if your partner suggests something you don’t think you’d like, simply say so without shaming [them],” says Buehler. Getting started with dirty talk via text can feel a lot less intimidating than talking dirty IRL, so practicing with some sexting is a great way to get comfortable with the idea. Having the added distance of a screen can also make it easier to speak up if your partner says something that doesn’t work for you.